- Apr 25, 2022

This is a Landmark Moment in My Life, Says Dead-Behind-The-Eyes Poster

We've all done it. We've all made a big announcement on social media.

A baby. A marriage. A new house. A booking. A race. A milestone. An achievement. A promotion. A new job. A new business. A graduation. A surgery. A finished screenplay. A film festival entry. An award. A proposal. A move. A shake-up. An anniversary A friendiversary. A shoutout. A plug. A closing. A bargain. A breakthrough. An awakening. A transformation. A celebrity sighting. An empowering photoshoot. A big purchase. A positive covid test. A negative covid test. A vaccination. A booster. A symptom. An anti-body. A positive-body.

All of these things are so great. So great. And in the syphilitic, cesspool of a puke stew that are these fucking social media platforms, good news is always welcomed. Anything to get my attention off reading 125 comments of a political argument between people who, not in a million years would I ever hang out with or interact with in person, but, for some sick reason, I always know when their son is playing a tee ball game.

What the FUCK is wrong with us.

Anywho, today's blog post is about masking depression through happy stuff!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Full disclosure: I am in rare form today. I've been battling through a pretty awful depressive episode the past couple weeks. And, because I've trained myself to be an absolute cyborg when it comes to putting on a good face in public, I have completely exhausted myself behind the scenes. But hey, I slept for 14 hours last night, so if depression is good for something, it's good for getting me nice and rested.

Alright, please don't text me. I will be okay. I have the tools to keep me from going off the deep end. When you get to be a certain age and have been living with this devil for as long as I have, a depressive episode like this one is like an annoying cough that I can't shake (which I don't get anymore because I still wear a mask, take that fuckers.) It's there. I know it. It affects my day to day life but it doesn't make me completely non-functional.

I need to once again reiterate that I speak only for myself here. I'm not downplaying the severity of depression, it's different in everyone and it's a very serious thing. I am able to sustain life for myself in these times via the tools I've developed - therapy, medication, journaling, BLOGGING (writing this is already making me feel better), rest, etc.

Alright, I've gotten off track here. But have I? This would be a great time to talk about quick-fixes. So, no. This isn't getting off track, Chris. Talking to yourself on your own blog is getting off track, you fucking lunatic.

And we're back.

This week would be primo time for me to find an old picture, some old news, maybe some new news, and use it as a swift serotonin drip via social media. There's a reason why people like to say, "social media is a cherry-picked highlight reel of a person's life" (I'm paraphrasing and I think I like my version better.) Speaking for myself, there are many times where I announce something exciting, and I'm genuinely in the moment. There's nothing clouding it, no looming demon, just good vibes and inviting my friends and family along for the ride.

Then… those other times. Those #blessed times. Those times, where a few dozen hearts and thumbs up get me a few hours of peace. And hey, it's effective, right?

But then the next day when I see someone in person and they say "you're killing it", I stumble over my words and let them know that "errr yeah, we'll see what happens with the ding and well you know the business of life and er yeah."

It's like any addiction, because social media is a fucking addiction, folks. We get our hit, the hit wears off, then we seek our next hit. And there's that dangerous in-between.

I'm realizing I can never post anything good without people thinking I'm depressed. I get that. But I DID say that there are times where I am genuinely happy when I post good news. So, I guess you'll just have to guess which one is which.

Sound familiar?

If you are struggling with your mental health, there is no shame in getting help:

Helplines

If you are in crisis, get immediate help:

Call 911
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for English, 1-888-628-9454 for Spanish
Crisis Text Line: Text SIGNS to 741741 for 24/7, anonymous, free crisis counseling
Disaster Distress Helpline: CALL or TEXT 1-800-985-5990

Abuse/Assault/Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4AChild (1-800-422-4453) or text 1-800-422-4453
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

BIPOC/AAPI

Black Mental Health Alliance – (410) 338-2642

Therapy For Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association: https://www.naapimha.org/

Inclusive Therapists: https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/

Indian Health Services: https://www.ihs.gov/communityhealth/behavioralhealth/

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